A stab at another limerick?

There once was a Flamingo who was so bored

he didn't know what to do?

So he found a brush and a bucket of paint

and painted the inside of his wing a bright blue!

There once was a gal

from Nantucket

( shame on you, thinking dirty like that)

who carried a yellow bucket

don't sniff too deep

fore you might just chuck it!

The Limrick Zoo

There once was a gorilla named Estella,

she carried a giant umbrella.

One day in a gale amidst

lightning and hail;

the giant umbrella took off with Estella!

Once there was a kangaroo named Miss Hocket

who carried dynamite sticks in her pocket;

one day by mistake a match flew into her hatch

and Miss Hocket took off like a rocket.

By now you think I've lost my marbles, eh?

Heck no I'm just getting started!

These little limricks were my favorite as a child growing up,

I had a book with at least 10 of them.

As to what happened to the book I'll never know

but someday I might be able to track down the book itself!

There once was a professor named Drake

who by accident fell into Alligator Lake!

Said a fat alligator a few minutes later:

"Very nice.....but I still prefer steak!"

And now my all time favorite pastime:

ONE LINERS!!!!

"Cat's revenge"...by Clawed Butts

"Antlers in the Treetops"...by Who Goosed the Moose

"Under the Bleachers"...by See More Butts

"Butts in the Sand"...by Sandy Cracks

"Yellow River"...by We P. Freely

Poplar Trees

Sing this little tune to yourself and you'll understand how I feel in the Spring time!
"I hate Poplars in the Springtime, I hate Poplars in the Fall; why oh why do I hate Poplars, such messy little Poplars; cause they drop sticky things and they stick to my floor!"
Yes......they drop these sticky little pods that stick to my doggie's feet, my shoes, the ground and walking on the sidewalk is like trying to dodge land mines! They smell beautiful, but they stain everything they come into contact with and the stains don't come out of fabrics at all!!!!
The only drawback of Spring is the attack of the PODS!!!!!! We can run but we can't hide as they're everywhere!!!!!

Spring Time Bears

A few years ago, we had problems with a pair of bears in our area. The bears were about 6 months apart in age and the smaller younger one had taken up with a more seasoned bigger bear.

Upon the arrival of Spring, bears should come out of hibernation? But because of where we live, the bears don't hibernate....they just kinda mosey around quietly. These two bears decided to beef up on their appetite...they do that you know, especially after the big sleep. We heard about the bears from our garbage collector "Fred"; he had been having trouble with the bigger of the two and told his supervisor that he refused to get out of the truck on our route because the bears were trying to climb into his big truck!!! This is before they had the automated arms to pick up the cans. So one day Fred got out of the truck, saw the bears and hightailed out of there. Two weeks later, Fred thought he saw a big dog run across the road; so he slowed down.

Now for awhile the bears had disappeared so he thought the coast was clear, when he slowed down it became clear that it was the smaller bear! Poor Fred slammed on the brakes and when he did he felt a THUD in the back of his garbage truck; getting out he walked around the back of the truck and about messed his britches cause there on the pavement was the biggest brown bear he'd ever seen and it was very dead!!! So Fred called his boss who in turn called ODFW and they came to surmise the situation.....how it happened anyway.

The best they could figure out is the younger one caused a diversion and the bigger one would follow to get the stuff out of the back! What the bigger didn't count on was Fred slamming on the brakes; cause when he did the big one hit just right on his forehead and it killed him flat. Fred continues to pick up on our route, but when it comes to Spring time he's very careful when he gets out of the truck!!!!

Tuesday's

Well, here I am! It's been awhile since I blogged....since my last post I believe I talked about dealing with the husband of Mrs.Lovely?
Well I admit I ate a little "crow" about the antics of Mr.Ugly; I met with the family of the elderly couple, their son and his wife.
Very wonderful people who are at their wits end about the situation at hand; so I may have redeemed myself in the elder husbands eyes somewhat.......I baked a loaf of banana bread!!!!
According to Mr. U (crap now I 'll have to change his moniker); his wife was a wonderful cook and baker, I discovered through much information that Mrs.Lovely was a cake decorator and actually graduated from two different colleges for cake decorating!!!
The banana bread was a hit.....I was hoping so....and it seems I have made a couple of friends with the elderly couple.
In the meantime, I have had the opportunity to visit with the husband and learn more about what causes him to "split a biscuit" so to speak; and have found that folks this wonderful couple have never been apart, spoke only loving words to each other and are each other's soul mate....thru thick and thin.
WOW.
That's the only word that comes to mind for me; and now they have strangers coming into their homes at various hours of the day, strange faces and attitudes that differ from how they had once lived, and watching each other deteriorate in each other's eyes....the decline of their health as they continue on in their journey of life......EGads!!!! No wonder Mr. U earned his nickname!!!! I'd be mad as a wet hen too!! Maybe even more??
So I made myself a promise......I would ask the good Lord for direction and help with the care of these lovely little people( they're shorter than I am) and hopefully we can come to a "truce" in the care of his wife Mrs. Lovely.

Surviving Wednesdays

Well I survived "Wednesday" the first day of my new job!!!
I tell you this job is going to give me plenty to blog about......with * names changed to protect my innocence!

Wednesday dawned clear and bright at 6:45 am; I arrived at my jobsite exactly 8:00am greeted Mr.Ugly* (husband) he's a real "pickle" and he proceeded to talk my ear off until Mrs.Lovely* rang her bell in the bedroom. Now the bell is her way of letting you know she needs your assistance( no it's not for maid service) Mrs.Wonderful is limited on her vision and hearing abilities; so the bell works good for all involved. Mr.Ugly* is a "hovercraft" he sticks to you like glue, a stick tite stuck to your shoelace, never to be free from it ever again!! He believes that since you are his wife's "caregiver" he's also entitled to your service as well....not true mr.moo-shoo.....and gets frustrated when you don't do things his way!! I am paid by the State of Oregon to look after Mrs.Lovely* plain and simple......really enjoy working with her too; the "hovercraft" likes to hamper you and your capabilities to assist his wife. Wednesday, he had the impression that he was "bullying" me......and enjoying it immensely or so he thought.
I told him "I'm not afraid of you, I have brothers bigger than you. So I suggest you let me do my job and you go and do your job....we'll be happier that way." And I was happier for about 20 minutes. Fortunately, I have my own "caregiver" room to be able to retreat to when the "hover-craft" gets annoying which is often. I was totally worn out when I arrived home yesterday, not from Mrs.Lovely* but from her "hover-craft" husband!!!!
My next shift is on Saturday, and by then we should all be getting along......because Mr.Ugly's family will be visiting and he'll have to be on his better behavior...I hope??? Stay tuned to " As the caregiver turns her head around" for more information on this subject.