Cleaning the Oven and other stories....

Yesterday I decided to self clean my oven....which is good. However, most ovens I've owned the only "self cleaning" I ever experienced was done by my own hands and elbow grease!  Never the less, the idea of an oven cleaning itself is remarkable....Not to mention a lesser pain in my elbows.  What I didn't count on was the flames!  Yes that's right FLAMES!! Good thing I have a 1 year warranty on all major appliances in my home and I've only been in the house about 2 months.....
     So I called my mother in law to ask about the possibility of flames and is that normal?  None of her ovens have ever been self cleaners : Strike 1.  I called my Uncle Pat.....he just laughed : Strike 2

My last resort....my own mom.  So I asked if that was normal...flames and such?  Her reaction: OH MY GOD....DIDN'T YOU READ THE INSTRUCTIONS???  OR THE OWNERS MANUAL??  Really, mom do you have to shout? I haven't even had my first cup of coffee yet, and my ears are ringing.  Then I started laughing, because it was hilarious listening to my dad in the background freaking out a bit....wondering if we had to use the  fire extinguisher? C'mon dad, I'm not that horrible of a cook! I was trying to avoid using the "self- cleaner" part and just use oven cleaner. Unfortunately, I didn't get all of the cleaner off the surface before I turned on the oven so the flames weren't huge but it would have roasted a marshmallow quite sufficiently!  Of course, the marshmallow would taste a bit like chemicals.....but still very satisfying.

 *    So my other story, as you know I've been training for my other job. I still do hair once a week in Grants Pass on Fridays but after a few more steady paychecks I might just call the salon quits. Not because I don't want to do hair, but if I'm driving one day and not enough clients what's the point of wasting fuel for 2 clients once a week? Does not compute.....

  *   Thursday at work, the boss man comes in looks me in the eye and says," Well young lady I believe you need some shirts to work for me." Of course I'm wearing a long sleeved shirt, so don't think I'm standing there nekked; and I'm kinda stunned at this point. He proceeds to tell me that I need work shirts with his logo on them for my shifts when I come to work.  I felt like "Dobby" from Harry Potter......I got CLOTHES!!!  WHICH MEANS ~ THEY'RE KEEPING ME! 

I'm pretty sure my eyes welled up with some moisture....poor boss man thought I was going to cry!
The best part......He told me that he was very pleased that I caught on so quickly, in fact he told me that I was one of the quickest learners they'd ever hired that he'd be nuts not to keep me on the payroll!  And my response...................... I got shirts!!!!!!!! 

Kicking Butt and Taking Names

I know I haven't posted in awhile...
I actually have a great excuse for it too!  I got a job to help with the household expenses; Left brain and I talked it over and decided it would be good for me to have a part time job.
I started training last Saturday; my hours vary and the staff are very helpful, hilarious in their own ways and downright homey.  They've given me various shifts to see what might throw me off or bug me. So far the only thing that bugged me today was a guy who came in and bought a carton of worms!  I couldn't find the button on the cash register and it flustered me.  Then as if that weren't hilarious enough....my supervisor who was there to help me along bent over to get some change from the box and I opened my register drawer and beaned her in the head!  After that, the words to her songs got a bit different than I remember the song to be but hey...to each their own.
Never the less, I enjoy all the folks who've been training me, each of them have a different method to their own madness which helps me to know I'm not such a strange duck afterall!

Water anyone??

Lately I've noticed some strange things;

and I'm warning you now if you're afraid to discuss

female bodily functions perhaps you should steer away 

from this blog.

Yes, I'm gonna talk about something that happens to our bodies,

No it's not the bowels I'm talking about.....

It's the "P" word.

That's right, the Pee Pee word.

I don't know about most women but I've had the discussion with 

both of my doctors; one a general practioner and the other a female specialist.

It's about the strangest discussion I've had in awhile

but somehow, my GP and I got on the subject of bladder control.

I asked him what causes this peculiar incident and he says

"usually a woman who has birthed more than 2 children,

carried them low or what not has this problem."

I'm calling the BS card on that one. 

You got girls! We wet our "willies" without any warning!

Dr. chalked it up to carrying too much weight around.....

hello have you seen me lately?

I'm a healthy & comfortable size 10 and depending on how the pants are cut

maybe a nice 8...but that's pushing it!

So here's my scenario;

I sit down I tinkle,

I stand up....tinkle.

Laugh out loud?

Make sure my legs are crossed,

and don't even think I could snort out loud;

it would be the flood gates!

Yes, I stopped with the caffeine....

can't drink Coke products anymore tears me tummy up.

Water...you ask?

Oh yeah, like Amel the Camel with 13 humps

and an unending supply to water!

So the next time you see me

and my legs are crossed and I'm standing up.....

you will know!

No Resolutions Here.....

Here we are 3 days into the New Year

and already I have no resolutions made;

which could be a good thing?

Each year, I resolve to do different things.

One year I chose to keep my desk tidy, which was a good idea

but at the time my 8 year old daughter thought

that the neatness did not apply to her.

Another year I decided to be ruthless and toss out any clothing

I hadn't worn in 2 years.

Yeah, I'm still searching for that beautiful silk cream sweater;

and what's worse? I found it the other day on an old colleague of my folks

who used to work in real estate with them!

Somehow, I think my mom got a little too gung ho in helping me

clean out my closets.

I've gotten better at NOT making resolutions;

so each year, I decide to help others rather than drive myself bonkers.

So far, I've managed to annoy my uncle Pat with worn out Christmas songs,

annoying ringtones and popping my gum within earshot of him.

Afterall, what good is family if you can't drive 'em all nuts?

Merry Christmas from Oregon

This was the best photo I could find; for wishing everyone in Blog Land a very Merry Christmas and a Wonderful New Year!

I've been seeing this sign a lot around town; which leads me to believing that Christmas is not too far off!  Some of my fondest memories of Christmas happen to include a 2lbs box of See's Candies.....my favorite being the maple bourdeaux!